When I have the word “deaf” plus the word “romance” plus the term “m/m”, it immediately catches my attention. But I usually end up disappointed when I read those books. Mostly because there are important flaws. Because the authors have a tendency to portray deaf people as normal people without the hearing and forget about the consequences of that lacking in their lives and their way of thinking.
Being deaf, above all from a short age, changes everything in your life. It changes the way that person thinks. Because the human being is the animal who talks. If you are deaf you can’t “talk” with other people. You can make signs, you can communicate with people who understand them. Maybe you can say things out loud and you can lipread. But it’s not the “talking” I’m talking about. The “talking” I’m talking about is saying things out loud and hearing things said out loud. Sound that travels from your mouth and sound that travels from the other person’s mouth.
Hearing is the most important sense for the brain development. If you are blind you can compensate with the other senses, and you can still communicate with other people. But that’s not the case of hearing. Loss of hearing is not something you can compensate with other senses. Seeing can cover something, but not all of it. When you “hear” certain areas in your brain work and develop and some connections are made. But if you don’t, you miss lots of those connections.
I don’t mean they are a different species or aliens or monsters, but if you interact with some of those who have never in their lives heard a thing you notice there is something you don’t find in other people. I can hardly explain it, it’s like seeing life in a different light. But don’t misunderstand me, I do believe learning sign language is not the solution for their isolation. But in this book the author managed to make it beautiful.
I don’t belong in that world, but sometimes my relatives wonder if some issues about my personality is due to that or if I’m just being myself. As a part-time visitor, it's only fair some of it has passed on me.
Anyway, now and then I found myself remembering this book.
Because, gods, it’s beautifully intangible. When I get this kind of intimate atmosphere I am swallowed and I wonder if I am ever going to breathe again. You know that funny feeling in your stomach and you discard nausea or pregnancy? Yeah, this is it. In two pages I was sold. I could be persuaded to believe anything.
I fell in love with Shawn. I fell in love with Cooper. I fell in love with their no-words communication. I have a weakness for that, for the ability to feel the MC connection. I’m not talking about chemistry, although that’s as important as it gets. I’m talking about a deeper connection.
And, gods, they did have it.
I was lost in their story before ever beginning it. I was lost in their conversations with glances. I was even lost in their chats via mobile phone. I only wanted to know MORE about them! The most important things, the stupidest of things, where did Cooper got the piercings, what bug made Shawn deaf, their shopping list, whatever!!!
I want to learn Shawn and Cooper's language.
But then Jordan appears and it spoiled the whole book!!! I was so mad when he stayed half of the book! I don’t complain about a little drama, but I HATED it when the story revolved around him! It’s not him I want to know about!
I want the pierced and tortured Cooper. I want the (deceptively) gentle and sweet Shawn. I want their touches and their gazes, their kisses and their caresses. I want them!!!
It wasn’t long after that we fell asleep, despite the music filling the room from downstairs. He and I woke up at different times through the night, always finding each other, straining together, and bringing each other off. I got to know the feel of him, the weight of him, the strength and taste and smell. He held me tightly in his arms, and when he needed to, he just got up and dressed. By then I belonged to him; I was property, and somehow he knew it. He only looked back once for reassurance that we both understood that before he left.
I was SO SO SO mad when that beautiful thing changed into this other!
A reader is the one who stands as spectator of the show, but in this case I wanted to really participate, just to erase Jordan from the face of Earth. He’s a PAIN!!! In fact, it was PAINFUL to see my idyllic relationship shattered by that stupid guy. I have no idea why the author included him here, he should have been an abortion, because really, I don’t know why he deserved to be born. I hate him even more than most baddies. Please! Am I exaggerating? I won't tell you I'm not.
The plot about Cooper’s past was a failure. You are half of the book wondering what awful thing happened to him and then you spend the other half wondering “WTF?”. The events change sharply and I couldn’t recognize the same story, it’s like it had been written by two different people, that is how shocking it was to me.
Do I sound mad? I am! Do you think I'm going berserker? You are right! It is as if I'm there saying "Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, oh yesssssss... ein?". Seriously anticlimatic. You wouldn't believe me if I told you this is one of those times that a book really makes me angry. Or do you? Anyway, I'm team Kill Jordan forever.
And then I realized that Jordan has his very own book in the series. Who is going to read it? Definitely, not me. So, if you want my opinion, read this book but tear out Jordan’s pages. That would be about half the book left but it’s less of a waste. Believe me.