Love for the Cold-Blooded, or The Part-Time Evil Minion's Guide to Accidentally Dating a Superhero - Alex Gabriel

***DNF page 275 of 300***

I think it's about time I DNF this. And I know it's ridiculous because there are barely 20 pages left. But. I. Can. Not. Go. On.

There are some parts I wholeheartedly loved. And I laughedtoo hard sometimes. But there were times I honestly wanted to put a bullet in my head. I was so bored! The final scene (heroes against baddies, the great fight) was going on forever and I just couldn't take it anymore so I decided to interrupt and take a break. That was 2 months ago and still no success in picking the book up again. So I'm going to call it a day. Enough is enough.

My American teacher told me his most profound desire: his perfect job would be doing something he loves and that means he has to become an Iberian ham-taster. I hope he fulfills that wish someday, as he truly enjoys Iberian ham. Impossible is nothing.

So this book, why not? Why not a superhero-villain world? Dreams can come true, yeah? The Incredibles, Megamind, Futurama... that indefinite area between the absurdity and the brilliance without smashing each other's teeth with the contrast. And gay. Impossible is nothing.

Everything has that unmistakable charm old comic movies had, like a proper James Bond movie, the ones in which Roger Moore crossed deserts or oceans and no stain spoiled his suit and no hair was out of place. I must confess they make me smile, and prefer them over the actual ones, maybe because I'm a romantic and an idealistic, maybe because they were extremely cool. This book had that feeling in spades. It didn't matter that no way all of that would happen in real life but it's powerful nonetheless. That innocence, that candidness, that naiveté which was never insulting nor stupid. The superheroes saved damsels (or lads) in distress, and of course, they gathered the brand new bag the victims left behind. The villains were as ingenuous as the hoagies and of course they had their evil speech before they achieved their machiavellian plan to rule over the world (with cruel laugh included). And the minions... with their uniforms and their cuteness and their loyalty. No, I'm not talking about yellow thingies who plan to steal the moon, but almost.

I'm serious when I tell you that in some scenes I had to smile and smile and smile and never stop smiling because I feel like a little boy who had just made a new friend at school and hurries in the morning because he craves to play with him in class (not that I would do that, I appreciate my mattress a bit too much). That urgency and impatience you have before you learn that you can get up earlier and earlier but things won't come faster that way.

But I must say that that exhilarating feeling didn't last the whole way. I loved Nick and Pat together but when they were not I grew more and more impatient every time. It's not that I don't appreciate the wittiness of the situations. In one moment or another a movie or a comic or a story was copied and being ridiculed. You expect the cliche to happen and when it actually happens you giggle nonstop. This book has that power but in-between I could see my inner goddess crossing her arms and rolling her eyes, demanding some action again. Because the family, the friends, the studies, the everything was cool, but not as cool as Nick and Pat together doing a mischief and going mad in the process. Sometimes I felt they weren't taken advantage of, not enough.

I believe my problem with this book was the style in which it was written. It was hard for me when a new situation was introduced. Sometimes I had to read several paragraphs in a row again because I hadn't caught up with the scene. It was as if my brain was a behind the action and it needed a little more time to get used to the rhythm. But then the rhythm was too slow, above all during the fighting scenes, when I completely lost it.

Anyway, I recommend to read other reviews before pushing this book aside for good.